The holiday season should be a time of joy and celebration but for many people it’s a major stressor. According to polls conducted by the American Psychological Association, nearly nine in ten adults report feeling stressed about the holidays; 43% said that the stress caused by the holidays was strong enough to interfere with their ability to enjoy them. For students looking to decompress and relax after their classes end, it can make you feel like saying, “Bah humbug!” when you get too stressed out about money problems, airline issues, or family drama.
No matter what holiday you celebrate in the winter months, try following some of these tips to keep your cool before you feel overwhelmed.
Plan Ahead
Playing things by ear could make your holidays significantly worse. Wait too long to do your shopping or book flights and you might walk away empty-handed thanks to sold-out stores and fully-booked airlines.
Most holiday stress is predictable and can often be accounted for in advance. According to Rio Salado College Counseling Faculty Co-Chair Dr. Melanie Abts, preparation is your first line of defense against stress..
"Being prepared for uncomfortable situations allows us to identify circumstances that are beyond our control and keep things in perspective," Abts said.
Think back to previous holiday seasons. What stressed you out most about them? What can you do to avoid these problems or soften the blow if it’s something unavoidable? Abts uses air travel- one of the biggest holiday pain points- as an example of how to strategize your holiday experience.
“Plan for the worst-case scenario,” Abts said. “Give yourself plenty of time so that you don’t feel rushed and make sure your carry-on can cover you for a day or two in case your luggage gets lost.”
Budget Your Way Out of Stress
Giving gifts can be a satisfying part of the holidays but they can also be a financial burden. It’s not just the cost of buying presents: there’s the airfare, food and drink (especially if you’re hosting others), lodging, and other unexpected expenses. It can be hard to get into the holly-jolly spirit of things when you’ve got nothing left in your wallet but two pieces of lint and a moth that got lost on its way to the nearest lamp.
While you may not know in advance what you’ll need to spend during the holidays, you can plan ahead for this. The key is to put a little money aside throughout the year - like a “Christmas club” savings account or trusty piggy bank. If you’re worried about spending that money before the holidays, consider converting that cash into gift cards for specific stores that you know you’ll do your gift-shopping at. Anything that makes it a little bit harder to splurge that money will help keep it around so you can use it when the time is right.
Saving a little holiday bundle is the first step; the next step is to budget, budget, and budget some more. Look back at your last couple of holiday seasons: what did you have to spend the most on? What are expenses that come up each year? Factor those holiday expenses into your usual budget for the month.
You’ll also want to be careful with credit cards during the holidays. It can be tempting to go ahead and charge everything but you don’t want to create more stress for yourself in the future by running up a debt you can’t pay off in time. You should also monitor your bank account and credit during the holiday season as fraud experts say that this time of the year is a busy time for scammers. Be mindful of scam emails, protect your PIN number, and double check your transactions to make sure no surprise charges are in there.
Prepare For Family Time
Reconnecting with family during the holidays can be a joyous occasion, but sometimes these gatherings can get tense- especially if you have that one relative who loves to talk about politics or bring up old long-standing family drama. It’s not just the malcontents you have to watch out for; even your most well-meaning family members can stress you out by asking simple questions like, “so when are you having kids,” that you don’t want to deal with at the moment.
"If you know you’re going to a family dinner and you know a particular person will bring up something you did last year, or that you’re not a good enough parent or that you're too thin or too fat or ask, ‘Why aren't you married yet?’ you can plan your response ahead of time," Abts said. “You can’t change other people. You can only change yourself and your reactions."
If you know there’s people at your family event that bother you, do what you can to limit your exposure to them. Sit away from them, try to avoid one on one private conversations with them and stay in a group setting, redirect the flow of conversation when they take it in a direction you don’t care for, and don’t be afraid to politely shut down the conversation if need be. A simple, “I don’t want to talk about that right now,” can often work wonders, especially if you fill the awkward silence that follows with a change of topics. Whenever possible try to keep the conversation focused on common ground.
Don’t Be Afraid to Say No
It can be tempting to go the extra mile during the holidays but don’t burn yourself out. You don’t NEED to host that dinner if you don’t want to. You don’t have to buy that ultra-expensive present to impress your cousin. You don’t have to accept every social invitation. You don’t need to bake all those snowmen cookies just because you did it last year. You don’t have to always say yes during the holiday season.
“It’s important during these times to identify what’s important to you and cut out absolutely everything else. How important are all of these rituals?” Abts said. “If you’re already at the breaking point, don’t expect yourself to bake seven cakes or to plan a charity event. It’ll be ok. If you don’t do those things, the next day will still happen."
Article by Austin Brietta
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